Being lesbian I feel ...



my teacher is lesbian

It is difficult when you know that you are different, but you do not understand why. You may feel worried, scared, confused, and you may not know where to turn for answers. Understanding the nature of your difference can bring you joy, relief, and peace of mind. It is normal to be lesbian! The process of self-discovery is unique for everyone. People can go through a lengthy “questioning” or “curious” phase before fully understanding their sexual orientation. Women who have sexual encounters with other women are not necessarily lesbian. “Experimenting” does not determine your sexual orientation; being lesbian is something you are, not something you do. Even if you know you are lesbian, you may not be ready to tell others, or deal with the potentially negative fallout. You will know when the time is right to make the changes that will bring you harmony and personal happiness.
Growing up, many of us feel isolated from the world around us. Young lesbian girls sometimes read situations differently, or with a deeper meaning than their straight peers. They can also form interpersonal connections that others envy or judge as strange. For instance, a child who provides a different spin on the classroom gossip may hear, “That’s a weird thing to say!” or “No one else thinks that way.” This same child may find it very easier to befriend boys because she does not feel the social anxiety experienced by other girls. Whether you believe it or not, being lesbian is a gift. It will allow you to understand and appreciate things that many others can’t. There will be struggles and challenges as you meet people who are quick to judge, but if you accept who you are, most of them will have no difficulty in doing the same.
If you are an adolescent, you may be using drugs, alcohol, the internet, video games, television or other outlets to escape confusing thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge your fears. Realizing that you are lesbian may empower you to take control of your life, even if your worries seem worse in the beginning. These “methods of escape” can hold-up important mental and emotional work, further prolonging the often uncomfortable questioning phase.
Lesbian teens sometimes think that it will be difficult for them to realize their goals in life. Marriage and career expectations may seem out of reach, especially if you are unaware of your opportunities as a adult. Life will not be easier if you try to set aside your orientation to live as a straight person. Some may recklessly pursue heterosexual encounters to convince themselves (and others) that they are straight. This behaviour is extremely dangerous and unhealthy!
Lesbians can come-out at any age. Many of us are in our teens or twenties, but others avoid dealing with their sexual orientation until much later in life. It is particularly difficult for a person to come-out after they’ve entered into a heterosexual marriage – or lived until their senior years in a heterosexual identity. These women deserve and require just as much support and compassion. Accepting who you are is very important to your quality of life. It’s never too late however; the sooner you can do it, the better your chances of avoiding the pain associated with hiding your sexual orientation. It may be difficult, but in time you will learn how to tell people that you are lesbian. Coming-out is not a one-time event; it recurs with every new
relationship, workplace environment or social contact. Having a healthy outlook will help.